SUCH a gorgeous kitty!

I totally thought you had wrapped your cat’s upper body in packing tape until I realized she had just gotten an... interesting... hair cut.

This season feels like a Nats fan found a monkey’s paw and wished that the team wouldn’t lose in the first round of the playoffs again.

I admit I clicked just to find out if England had been confirmed as England.

After yesterday, Poland are no longer a country, and are therefore ineligible for the fraudulence rankings.

I don’t care what anyone says, I love Hillary.

It’s like my dad always says, [three minute voicemail of car noises and AM radio, muffled by his pocket].

Can I just point out that the Warriors are 3-1 in the last four trips to the Finals? I think LeBron needs to stay in Cleveland because it seems like history shows that the Cavs are about to win three in a row now.

is lil tay short for elizabeth taylor the same way bobby flay is short for robert flavor and elon musk is elongated muskrat?

lmao you think i don’t already have like three jobs, come on man

lol nice try Bobby but my boyfriend would be on fire

“I’m sorry to do this, but remember Former Texas Rep. Blake Farenthold? Alleged sexual harasser, lover of onesies?”

If you asked me to identify Thaviks I would be unable to do so.

I don’t see a problem. It’s obvious that the whitening system works really, really well. Also there’s some kind of blondening system.

This sounds like a really reasonable and (most importantly to Spotify) defensible approach to the issue. If they went the route of removing his music entirely, it’s likely that a good number of users would abandon the service because of perceived censorship, which would negatively impact Spotify’s bottom line (which…

“Your honor, I ask that this case against my client be dismissed. Everyone knows relief pitchers in the AL don’t hit.”

You wrote a lot of fancy words to say “stop talking shit about Trump if you want to keep your jobs”.

I know we read these and collectively laugh at all these morons. And rightfully so. But every time I see these letters, I feel an overwhelming sadness. I like to think that there are a lot of good people in this country, but this makes me feel really wrong about that and truly bums me out.

We are a country addicted to nostalgia, but with no regard for history. Nostalgia is history without moral reckoning; it keeps people pining for golden eras that never existed and anticipating a future that will never materialize.