oh pffft.... kids dont need food... just water them twice a week and make sure netflix is paid for and they’re happy as pigs in shit...

That mortgage interest thing pisses me off. If I ever want to buy a house out here, I’m probably looking at a mortgage of 500k+, unless I want to live in the freaking desert. It’s like they designed that part of the tax code just to fuck over New York and California.

You fail to mention that in Australia, the horses run clockwise around the track.

On that same vein, my brother-in-law always pulls this whole “if you make it illegal, the bad guys will just find another way to get them” shoulder shrug mentality. What the fuck is that? So we just don’t try? Oh that’s right, I remember when I was in middle school and struggling with math, and my parents wanted to…

Well throw in people like me who also use the Child Tax Credit and Mortage Interest write-off, plus pay tuition and student loans, and I’m screwed.

FTFY

It makes sense that the witch hunt is spreading into other industries where witches might be found. And by witches I mean male witches, or warlocks as they are sometimes called—grooms of Satan, I suppose.

“This isn’t a guns situation,” Trump said as he directed the blame at the behavior of a “very deranged individual [with] a lot of problems over a long period of time.”

He survived the massacre and then gets injured like this?

Quite to the opposite, it sounds like the Colorado Wal-Mart shooting a few days earlier was made into (more of) a clusterfuck by people all pulling guns, making it harder for the police to figure out who was the active shooter.

“This is a mental health issue at the highest level. I propose a fantastic healthcare plan that provides virtually no mental health benefits. Am I not the greatest president in the history of the cosmos? Now, I must go berate our great little Jap allies for sending so much sushi to America....”

Reporter: Can you tell us how it feels to both start and finish with yourself?

Parkey: Feels? I guess a little lonely sometimes, but that is a kicker for you. These guys have groupies lined up around the block and can get into the hot clubs for free, but kickers... unless we are in a relationship we’re used to taking…

“My grandpa didn’t cross an ocean and risk his life to destroy Fascism, just so he could come home and see mass gatherings where every single person didn’t pledge total fealty to the homeland.”

The seaman has left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

That is one helluva response.

Fun Fact: There are people that believe Sandy Hook never actually happened and it was all made up.

- The National Anthem before NFL games

Hey, this dude and I share a birthday! That is sort of cool!