Oh you mean Job Creators. Yes life is tougher on them than it is on anyone else. Have YOU ever had to chose between a Cerulean Blue Gulfstream or a Cream White Gulfstream? You don’t know the pressure. You don’t know what that’s like. Everyone judging you… Thinking you’re all new money and shit. Have some heart you…

On a related note, turns out that shitty Minnesota team that obviously didn’t deserve a 5 seed shockingly proved it didn’t deserve a 5 seed.

“A huge Vandy boner”

I LOVE DAVE

Don’t forget the border wall.

Anyone else reminded of the budget balancing scene in Dave? But instead of an affable good-guy imposter, it’s an evil cheetoh who actually got elected?

So this budget destroys jobs, ruins the environment by doing nothing, kills arts programs for poor kids, eliminates legal aid for poor defendants, kills public service opportunities for young Americans, and stops science in its tracks. It should be really popular!

More like 3 hours. Can’t miss those night games!

Lookout for someone named “Vladonald” having a perfect bracket.

General: Who did you pick as your favorite after the Sweet 16?

Russia wouldn’t be here any more if they did that.

Airlift it and drop it on the Mexican border.

A fish stinks from the head.

Texas is what happens when you shut down PP. Kansas is what happens when you cut taxes for the rich. Wisconsin is what happens when you cut education. The Great Lakes and Flint, MI are what to expect when you kill the EPA.

Why do we continue to act surprised that our government clearly doesn’t have our best interests…

Honestly, the way things are going, you’d best squirrel it away so you can by ineffectual health insurance this time next year.

OR BLOW IT ON AN iPHONE!

The snackboxes on United are amazing (at least the Select box, which is the one I get). I legitimately look forward to it.

Stuff like this is why I always travel with an empty water bottle, a packet of peanuts, and buy something like a cookie or a muffin before boarding. I’ll also try to have a meal in the airport because you just don’t know what you are going to get on the plane. There are a lot more good, healthy options in airports…