Hey Brooks, glad you could make it to Deadspin!

Guy hitting .205 in High-A ball is worried about the wrong Mendoza.

The Packers have neither a majority owner nor minority ones.

The Packers, who are instead owned by many of them

Well, let’s narrow it down. Sounds like something a crotchety, old, out-of-touch, power hungry white guy would say. Which team is owned by a crotchety, old, out-of-touch, power hungry white guy?

This is a weird fucking picture

Thanks Ashley, now whenever we talk about Trump in politics I will just think about how we were this close to Mike Tyson solving this problem for us in the 80s.

As an Orioles fan, Fuck the Blue Jays.

I was at the O’s Jays game last month and I was hardpressed to find 9 Orioles fans total, let alone 9/10

Root for the Orioles if you want to see dingers donged to goddamn Pluto. If you appreciate good (infield and center field) defense. If you love yourself some good relief pitching. If you hope to find out whatever devil magic Ubaldo got a hold of.

Do you like dingers? What about dongers? Do you enjoy watching a team score 7 runs and still be on the razor’s edge of winning/losing? Then you’ll LOVE the Orioles.

Antonio Brown’s penalty was even worse. He only did2 quick butt-twerks, couldn’t have lasted more than 0.75 seconds. I was still butt twerking around my living room a good 10 seconds after the flag hit the turf.

Yep. Naturally gifted, though maybe not the type to bring their lunchpail to work every day.

You’ll notice that the thing uniting all the players listed above is that they are talented and entertaining players

Plus his hands are too tiny

Trump isn’t fit to hold their hands for comfort. It takes a special kind of scum for a draft dodger to attack veterans with PTSD.

This is like the start to an awesome movie where Biden goes on a murder rampage of the entire Trump family.

He got all huffy.