So how are we ranking Ryan’s?

They both bit from the Minneapolis skyway system.

I’m going to try to follow Katy Perry’s remarkable grace right now, though my thoughts about Trump’s evil and ignorant tweet are much darker.

Who else thinks a “normal person” means a 22 year-old yoga instructor from a wealthy family with a lifestyle blog?

“And then he stuck his neck into my mouth. He stuck his neck into my mouth ten times!”

I’m genuinely curious about the part of the statement that claims she was standing between him and their three year old female cub, which would be a full grown breeding aged lioness by now... I’m guessing his captive brain was like “that’s female, I should fuck it” and the mother was like “over your dead body”?

Not moved by kids in cages, trump threatening nuclear war, sexual predators, cheering on nazis, trades wars no! It was Taylor Swift that compelled them.

I’m not sure he meets this definition of celebrity, but...Charles Schulz.

Something about Peanuts just agitates the shit out of me. I hate Charlie and I hate Lucy and I hate Pigpen and I hate that fucking dog and that fucking canary and FUCK the great pumpkin and FUCK Christmas Time Is Here straight to hell. I don’t…

The answer to ALL questions about tipping in this column is 20%.

Look, he needs to brag about how much of a super important doctor he is so....

“I GOTTA LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE”

If the service sucked, by all means write a Yelp review.

On the other hand, if you went to a restaurant and the service was awesome... write a Yelp review too. 

Her poor chihuahua :( rip

Yikes what did the letter writer do to you? Were they mean to you when you were a child?

Well, that certainly makes it okay for what purports to be a legit news organization to lie about why they brought her to the conference, sure.

I’m a normal person and when a business falsely accuses me of being a thief I refuse to ever shop with them again.

Not really a “harmless mistake” - people have been killed for petit larceny plenty of times (and not just Black people... although that does increase your odds of meeting the Grim Reaper over a couple of…

We might be neighbors.  Is it also full of helpless women who need somebody to come over to trim the hedges or kill a (harmless) snake?

“DADDDDYYYYYY DIDNT GIVE ATTENTIOONNNNNNN”

She just did the work and and they weren’t paying, so I don’t really care if she got too real for this coward and his shitty wife. Her bills don’t get smaller because their Grandma is senile.

Hey restaurant owners: live music is never a good idea if you’re not exclusively a bar. And if you charge me a cover because a band I didn’t know was going to be there starts playing half an hour after I sit down, I’ll find you, get your daughter to fall in love with me, marry her, then convince her to put you in an…