How can someone be so thirsty with so much water around?

I’ve finally figured out why most of the movies in this franchise aren’t good—the aliens themselves are fundamentally uninteresting.

lol

“I am very good at cumming fast and in the presence of strangers.”

Reminder that men who choke their partners are 10 times more likely to eventually kill them. It is frequently used as an indicator of extreme danger.

“claimed that O’Reilly repeatedly bragged about his phone-sex prowess,”

Let’s do the damn thing.

It seems more than a little hypocritical a member of the political party who determined money is speech and corporations can throw as much “speech” at a politician they want is now regulating how much someone can earn from a speech.

Someone “stealing” Mayer is like someone stealing your Taco Bell. Let them get the explosive diarrhea and be glad you dodged that bullet.

All the bottles are still white, tho.

Friendly English Lit reminder: the point of this quote is not that Juliet is wondering where Romeo is. Rather, the “wherefore art thou” is meant as “WHY are you Romeo Montague,” as in, “I really wish you were from literally any other family.”

“I was trying to explain that all hospitals are required by law to treat patients in need of emergency care regardless of their ability to pay and that the Republican plan does not change that,”

This is sarcasm right? Frats and sororities are worthless rich person hobbies that do very little except act as a way for idiot rich kids to network.

The police officer’s parents are already in the media trying to spin him as a “good father” and a “family man”, never mind that he’s divorced and has two children born within 12 days of each other by two different women.

I wish his obvious remorse (he looks like he’s been crying) was for his victim instead of his own predicament.

Yeah...no. She’s Black and already has full lips. She is not going to get some damn injections while she’s pregnant and swollen. Sheesh.

Supply-Side Jesus is their king.

Can anyone confirm that Prince Albert is still in a can?

“Very Old Man is Retiring from his Overpaid Job of Waving” should be the headline.