Dude. You just heard a woman talk about how she was mentally preparing herself to be raped by three men. And that she was focusing on how her sister would heal after finding her dead body and this is what you come out of it with? The fuck is wrong with you? Have like, a semblance of empathy. Ever.

This is yet another reminder that having a child does not suddenly make you an expert on literally anything, and that the act of birth is something that literally billions upon billions of people around the world, both very smart and incredibly fucking dumb, have done throughout millenia.

He literally got famous by showing how suburban white men are grunting moronic troglodytes. Literally. And proudly.

Fun Fact: Most illegal immigrants arrive in the US in airplanes.

I’m hoping for some extremists to regularly blow parts of it up.

I have mixed feelings about publishing stories like this with the restaurant name where it was clearly a rogue waiter behaving against policy and human decency. Ideally the shitty server would be named

..... were they ordering alcohol? And this was misconstrued?

They should have asked him for his SAG card in return.

A friend told me he applied to be WB’s personal assistant, but declined because

Look at the size of this thing:

Can we have a real talk about Britney’s hair without it being seen as body snarking or mean? I know every female celebrity pretty much has extensions, but why are Brit’s so obvious? It’s like she has a layer of real hair and then a very obvious layer of extensions underneath. Why don’t they blend together better? …

I don’t know how old you are, but I tell people all the time that that one thing is one of the perks of being older. You don’t have to keep up the exhausting facade of “what this? Oh I only like this ironically.” Hell yeah I like Metallica and Britney at the same time!

Do you understand the kind of brainwashing that woman has been subject to for her entire life? People in Quiverfull circles actually think that divorce is worse than murder. She’s under incredible pressure from both sides of the family to “forgive” him. And since she’s probably been homeschooled her entire life until…

a gif and a bomb are the same you are correct my bad

Haunted kale.

Burned cauliflower with cobwebs and lint? Did I get it right?

Personally, childhood sucks. All my fondest childhood memories involve activities intended to help me escape the realities of life. Adulthood is hard, but it also rules.

I’m definitely rooting for Adulthood in this game!

Wait...you BELIEVE that caption?

I blocked my mom on Facebook 10 years ago and never looked back. It’s been glorious.

God I am so glad my mother died before social media.