So you know that running gag in movies and film about kids spanking it to the underwear section in their mom’s Sears catalog? I didn’t quite get what these films were alluding to, so I tried fucking a rolled up, glossy department store catalog when I was like 11.

ed. I’d just like to add that I tried this a few times…

By the time the average American male is 15 he has tried to fuck approximately 27,000 common household items. In that time of vast experimentation one usually finds a few workhorses that stand the test of time.

“Hasn’t done or said anything” doesn’t apply to Melania. She minimized her husband’s inappropriate, sexist, predatory comments and behavior as “little boy talk”. Even teens know what he described was wrong. He was 59. She also suggested this wealthy, famous, older, successful, by all accounts ‘big man’ on the bus…

This is a test.

From my coworker Jordan Sargent:

Are you this guy?

Whatever happened to cutting a hole in a vegetable or gourd of some sort, microwaving it for a couple of seconds, and fucking it?

When i was just an innocent 12 year old mormon kid, my neighbor friends asked me if i had ever masturbated before, i said no not knowing what it was.

They explained that i just needed to get some soap for lubrication and rub my dick.

What they didn’t emphasize was they were talking about liquid soap or lotion. So that…

Interesting to see what was happening in fashion there at the time. I was a fashion student in 93, and no way we would have worn that. Shoulder pads had shrunk quite a bit since 87/88 before disappearing entirely; in my frame of reference, this was totally mid-late 80s power dressing.

New nose.

I know, she doesn’t have that perma-squint.

Climbing on top of a overstuffed orange sack of rancid pork scraps, you mean.

Someone go back and tell her that her future entails climbing on top of a disgusting old orange man for a living.

“Strident” has strongly negative connotations and is routinely used as dog-whistle sexism in the same way “shrill” is. Maybe not the best word to use in this context.

This is also why I cook. Headphones+cooking= sanity. I don’t understand open kitchens. Put me away in the back

As a Southern institution, NM should be ashamed of itself!!!! Collards are not made with bacon.

Man, I work a 40-hour week and I still long to make dinner on Sunday night. I can’t even handle two full days with one toddler, I have no idea how you do it.

I get that perspective too, but I work about 45-50 hours a week on average, so I’d prefer to spend my time at home during the evening doing something with my kids and spouse (and when I let my kids “help” cook, it just makes it take longer to cook and twice as long to clean up afterward). I also do probably 90 percent…

I make the same dish for $6. I wonder if I could fool some rich Seattleites into buying my upscale greens. The occasional designer dog hair would be free of charge, natch.

neiman marcus, where the 1% can pay 500% to eat like the 99%.