Commentator: “Cam’s like a kid out there. He’s a gunslinger”

Last Week Tonight has definitely changed my Sundays. It’s made it a LOT more interesting.

Did the makeup artist flat-out reject his advances or did she give him a sign that he could go all the way?

Let me tell you a story. One sunny spring day, I’m going in and out of the nest, moving sand, carrying out the dead, hauling giant-ass leaves around for everyone to eat. Now I’m not saying I’m better than anyone else, just that I keep my head down and do my work, just like everyone’s supposed to, right? Next thing you…

Would honestly be better than the current governor in Kansas.

“What you’re seeing is smoke from the fireworks being set off around the area, all of them amateur displays.”

I hear they are going to close the new location and a Denny’s is planning on taking over the property.

When asked why he still continues to dine at the Tadich Grill after these revelations, Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder replied, “My polling shows that African Americans regard being treated as ‘separate but equal’ as a source of pride.”

“I doubt he was allowed to pay for his own meal anywhere in the Bay Area.”

Here is a sports article without political spin. Here is another one. Here is one more. And another one. There are lots of them. Isn’t it great how easy it is to find one?

Either you’re an idiot or you’re a subtle satirist..... I’ll go with the latter

“Well why didn’t she grab one of the guns and point it at him? That’s what I would’ve done.”

I bet CC Sabathia was even more upset he missed the game when he heard that the stadium was full of boos.

What exactly do people have against masterbating in public? If you dont like it, dont do it.

Last time I checked excessive celebration is a penalty in the National Football League act like you been there before Clay Matthews, you’re a role model for children everywhere and you are acting like you never been there before and the little Millennials are eating it up I worked in the school system for thirty seven…

*goes home to bang girlfriend*

I’m sorry but people just wouldn’t be as interested in the ads if the players were compensated for their image. The amateurism is what sets the ads apart.

Scott Walker can fuck right off and apologize to all the public sector employees he’s demonized and dramatically changed the lives of. Scott Walker is a complete asshole. You can fuck off too.

Oh for god’s sake, shut up.

*God’s voice booms down from the heavens*