Ummm... it’s pretty obvious. It was the cats. Trying to kill you. Because that’s what they do.

It’s because you didn’t throw it in the ocean. 

My entire car isn’t worth $3,000.

Surprised it took this long for someone to try to turn a conversation about bumpers into a partisan political pissing contest...

Another good thing about having the whole face of the car chromed metal is the dead bug issue. Far easier to clean bug guts off chrome than paint, and you have way less damage to deal with. Cars today have way too much body color painted surfaces on their leading edge - bumper cover, fascia, side mirrors should all be…

Yes, but everyone’s insurance is more expensive because getting hit at 3mph causes $1500 in damage.

So different wheel diameters, tire widths, and sidewall heights.

I never thought about any metrics other than “How much sidewall is required to reduce the pucker factor when I hit the million potholes on my way to work?”

“enlarges the entire passageway by several fractions of an inch”

I think I saw this in my daughter’s room when she was little.

8 ports no cup

He'll spread it like mulch.

My take has always been that the landlord considers it a lost cause, and is just hoping to collect the insurance money when it inevitably burns down.

I AM SCRATCHING.

That headline is going to be the title of your memoir isn’t it?

It looks fine to me. I think the vertical outer edge of the passenger side DRLs is just distorting through the lens creating the illusion that the headlight is on.

I’ll stand by for the forthcoming legislation for more robust windshields and the associated MSRP impact.

Since the driver is ok, I feel the next important thing is to point out she’s well on her way to owning the world’s first Accord Speedster. It’s a win-win!

“keep it for another few years after...”

I was wondering why you kept on totaling your cars, then I reread your first sentence.