Haha, considering this, I can see that happening! Everyone gets the pre-approved Team GB ribbon! Nothing could go wrong

No. Nobody else thinks that.

He’s still getting a D-1 scholarship moron, just not at Michigan.

When you use the term “horse sports,” all I can think of is horses competing in human sports. Horse wrestling, horse shotput, horse javelin, horse cycling. What a world that would be!

Yeah, he’s Guay off.

Uruwrong.

coupled with the ever-popular I ONLY DID IT FOR A LITTLE BIT!

No no, it was even worse: a “My apologies to those offended,” which is that infamous backhanded “I’m not actually sorry at all.”

Asshole apologizes for tweet, not for actually driving in bike lane.

Lilesa said he had considered Kenya or the United States if it’s not safe for him in Ethiopia.

Maybe he should have been American

And yet...

Goodell really just wants Dennis Miller back.

Gabby Douglas gets raked over the coals for not putting her hand on her heart but Ryan gets a pass for being a 32 year old man who gets drunk and pees in public and breaks a door and lies about it. Wtf?

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

• Lochtail Party

the four swimmers spoke to U.S. State Department officials and they agreed to shut up. Almost immediately after the briefing, Lochte “walked across the street” and gave an interview

we also would've accepted "eat a dick, trivia guy."

1. Go into a bar.