coupled with the ever-popular I ONLY DID IT FOR A LITTLE BIT!

No no, it was even worse: a “My apologies to those offended,” which is that infamous backhanded “I’m not actually sorry at all.”

Asshole apologizes for tweet, not for actually driving in bike lane.

Lilesa said he had considered Kenya or the United States if it’s not safe for him in Ethiopia.

Maybe he should have been American

And yet...

Goodell really just wants Dennis Miller back.

Gabby Douglas gets raked over the coals for not putting her hand on her heart but Ryan gets a pass for being a 32 year old man who gets drunk and pees in public and breaks a door and lies about it. Wtf?

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

• Lochtail Party

the four swimmers spoke to U.S. State Department officials and they agreed to shut up. Almost immediately after the briefing, Lochte “walked across the street” and gave an interview

This is the story that keeps on giving. Its like the kind of fanfic someone who huffs freon would write.

Holy shit, Americans suck.

failed to hand the baton to English Gardner.’

So long Waffle House doesn’t give up its aesthetic of half-burnt out 25w bulb lighting and how everything vaguely feels like it has a thin layer of congealed grease on it.

He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy

Eggcellent reporting. I hope they crack the case soon. Cheating like this is no yolk. People who spoil other’s fun really makes my blood boil. They are basically poaching gyms. Their accounts should be fried.

we also would've accepted "eat a dick, trivia guy."

1. Go into a bar.