From now until the end of his career, anybody who doesn’t square up to bunt on CC at least once every at bat is clearly playing baseball for the wrong reasons.

“I swear: I have no idea how those steroids got into my cocaine!” -Jon Jones

Okay so I work in the film industry in Canada right? So that means I have a number of American co-workers. One saw me drinking ‘Coca-Cola Zero Sugar’ (We still just call it ‘Coke Zero’ no matter what the can says) and commented that ‘They’re taking that off the market, you know?’ And I had to explain that they were…

They rolled it out under that branding in Canada in Feb. It tastes EXACTLY the same. What’s weird is, here in Canada they never pitched it as a new product or change, it was just a rebrand.

“Fake news. Fake news! I never stole JujyMonkey’s ball. In fact I have never stolen anyone’s ball. Anyone.. Everyone says ‘ Donald Trump - that man is not a ball thief. Donald Trump doesn’t have any balls at all.’ “

a) This and Wimbledon are the biggest/only running stories in sports this week; we’re consequently covering both with a microscope.

Those neighbors are awfully righteous for people whose fences are made out of dildos.

JTF2 makes the SEALs look like skinny jean latte drinkers

Yeah. We don’t use them for security blankets around the house or for the walk to the mall though.

69ing is why I know what my partner’s butthole tastes like.

It worked out okay for the last guy.

I was just waiting for him to pee on Trump to show dominance but I guess he would have liked it...

Foreign intelligence is pieced together from many crumbs. You pick up a crumb here, get a little crumb there, and add it to your current crumbs and suddenly you have a much better picture of what your friend or adversary is doing. To continue with that analogy, it is extremely rare to find an entire loaf of bread…

It’s like thousands of tiny people are fly fishing on his scalp

The bulk of the piece focuses on what it would take to get Trump impeached and whether we should start getting our hopes up about that, but first delves into the viability of invoking the 25th Amendment and ousting Trump on the basis of his mental or physical incapacity.

floppertop battery

“which he paid for with his own money and delivered on his own”. Wouldn’t it be nice, if instead of spending 50 billion on a useless wall, or 50 billion on unnecessary military spending, or 900 billion on tax cuts for the rich, if our police, firemen, social workers and teachers had special monetary accounts available…

The way all those toothpastes keep ranting about white being better, it was only a matter of time! ;-)

This is a beta-test for Ivanka’s national child-care program