But if he's the primary caretaker, doesn't that mean we're going to have to fund a government caretaker now? Good job repubs. Winning with logic yet again.

My boyfriend lives across the country and we have many airport rendezvous. No way would I notice a reporter if one of those times he was on bended knee. I rarely notice reporters anyway, but this is likely because I work in the middle of all of the biggest media outlets in the city and there are always cameras…

I never really have a lot of money, but I haaaaate long skirts/dresses. They do not work for me at all. I'm more of a just above the knee girl. I guess that makes sense w my financially as well. Harumph.

I could give you about a year's worth of posts for this blog. I frequently sneak through liquids because I'm too lazy to find plastic baggies. Also, my dad is a commercial pilot and the stories he has about the shit that gets through would blow your mind/infuriate you even more with this security theater that…

To be fair, I wanted that when I lived with my boyfriend. I pretty much always want sex and HBO on demand at any given time.

Same here. I was imaginging waking up with orange dust all over my fingers and sheets, and a ridiculous stomach ache. In which case I would hate my stomach, therefore myself. To each his own I suppose.

"We don't punish rape." There, I fixed it for you.

I almost kind of want to go into one of these places just to fuck with them. "Yeah, this is my 17th pregnancy this year. I don't believe in birth control. Or taxes. And I love Jesus, only he whispered to me that I can't have this baby so I'm aborting it".

That's just cruel.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...!!! I wish I could unread this.

Get it, Grandma. Love this.

I won't believe it until there's proof. AKA until Beyonce leaves him. Then I'm pulling a Morrissey.

No makeup except ten pounds of mascara and fake eyelashes? FWIW though, I love me some Ke$ha.

If Jay Z cheats on Beyonce, I will give up on monogamous relationships for good. If someone can cheat on the perfect woman, there is no hope for the rest of us.

Designer baby clothes depress the shit out of me. How long do they get to wear that stuff? A week?

My spirits do not soar on the last day of vacations. I get depressed. You're wrong, experts!

Have you learned NOTHING from Teen Mom? If the parents had their way, those two kids wouldn't have given up their kid for adoption, but raised it in a home filled with addiction and jailtime. Since the parents didn't have a say, the baby is being raised by a family that actually WANTED it. To paraphrase one of my…

Let me rephrase: What girl living in an apartment building with no easy access to washing machines cleans their sheets every week?

THIS:

What girl washes her sheets once a week? Seriously? That can't be fact. If it is, I'm disgusting.