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Call it the weekly Jalopnik hate bait.

Mostly spy novels, and the occasional non-fiction.

I drive everywhere in reverse, and I produce so much gasoline I don’t know what to do with it.

Every 90's kid with a good childhood reading this article like:

I upgraded from my 2006 Subaru last year. My income had increased substantially by that time, so I decided to buy something “luxory”.

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but the year is 2018. Every car you listed excluding the Lexus was made more than 20 years ago. Hell the 944 went out of production nearly 30 years ago.

Yea I’ve got some BlackBerrian Tires that are really secure also.

Am I doing this right?

Bronco, Supra, Z Car, mid-engine corvette. The 4 cars of the apocalypse. We are 100% going to all perish in a nuclear war before those cars hit lots.

Finding a specific Subaru in Portland. This should be fun.

Likewise here. The 90s TV show made me love it even more, even though it was pretty terrible.

Absolutely the same. I would literally hyperventilate and flip out every single time I saw one, to the point where my parents started saying, “up... there goes JD, viper-ventilating”.

Same here. My father, a skilled mechanic, brought home a customer’s Viper to keep working on it. The sound of the V10 as it slid up our driveway and into the garage was beautiful, and he couldn’t help giving the pedal a quick blast in neutral, reverberating through the whole house. I was immediately smitten. A few…

The right answer.

The OG Dodge Viper ignited my love of cars. We were in a Dodge dealer in 1995, my parents were buying my older brother a Neon and I noticed this oval bulbous thing in the middle of the showroom. I looked at it and wondered why there were speakers on the hood (I was young.) The lines, the power, the sheer will of the…

I’d tell the officer’s wife to sleep with one eye open, but that doesn’t seem like the best advice in this case.

“Jokes on you, Robby. My wife has a nut allergy, which is why we can’t even have sex anymore.”

Fucking today! I have a 1965 Mustang Fastback that came originally with an inline 6. I decided to keep the inline 6 because a) it’s wierd, and b) I get tired of seeing the same shit at every cars and coffee. Anyway, I’ve been upgrading this thing for a while now (AL head, Fitech’d, V8 suspension, T5, etc.) and decided…

Maybe you shouldn’t be his friend anymore...sounds more like a burden.

The hell does that have to do with anything?