Well, this finally solves the age-old riddle "How many stars is a nipple worth?"

He's no Mr. April.

You just know he farted.

I am Queen of the Oldz

Charlie!

You go straight to Hell!

Once? Maybe. But four times? Yeah, you're bragging.

It's like the holiday retailers having to rush the season when Thanksgiving falls late in November.

ZOMG "thighs touching" means I'm pregnant? How the heck did that happen?

Doesn't he drive one of those little-ass cars? I'd be sad, too.

Smh, yet another dude who thinks he has the stamina to keep up with a younger date.

I wonder which of them was the Criminal Mastermind.

That seems like a lot for Pirates tickets...

Chillie Poon just rolls off the tongue.

Do The Oldz (I am now one so don't hate) still get free or cheap coffee there? I might resort to violence for caffeine.

She stole my drink! Signed, Gertrude Gina Gaston

I would like to hear Vin Scully's take on this.

I'm not sure the testimonials are proving very effective.

Her birthday suit.