“I wanted to travel internationally, but then I realized that was still to close to goddamn Ohio. So I guess I have to go to space instead. It’s the only way I can be assured to not have to deal with anyone from .... wait a second ... this other astronaut is ALSO FROM FUCKING OHIO? I’m going for a (space) walk.”

“It’s too complicated!” Fuck off. The cash register in any grocery store knows what category of good gets what set of multiple taxes applied, coupons, what deals apply to what payment methods, what discounts apply for what level of club card, etc. The minwage cashier has no clue. If you can use xL, you can program it.…

I recently purchased some Bosch ICON for my GTI and they are great!

I for one cannot wait for the Pitch Meeting for this.

Freedom isn’t free. It shouldn’t be a bragging point that ‘Oh, I don’t get involved in politics,’ as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn’t insist on their right to remain ignorant…

His Simon was struck by lightning and came to life. It beeps out a code... of death. (When the thermostat heard it, it made the room slightly hotter.)

Counterpoint: Tom Waits getting a paycheque is a huge point in this stupid production’s favour.

It’s like watching a chimp run around with a chainsaw. You know the chimp shouldn’t have it, someone responsible should take it away, but you kind of want to see what he’s going to do with it.

Hopefully the movie ends with Jared Leto’s joker directly addressing the camera and ordering all true Snyder devotees to stick their genitals in the microwave.

New plank vinyl is very easy to install, you should consider DIY, they even sell kits with all the tools you need to do it for $30 at the depot.

Would you like to borrow my clutching pearls?

Except this entry-level animal apparently does not exist according to Tesla’s online configurator.

Yup. Everytime something like this comes up with Allen, I’m always wondering, “Who needed more after he left his wife to marry her adopted daughter?”

He’s not going anywhere - he chopped his throttle also. ;)

I propose a name change to Off Road Glide. 

Looks like Pine, probably just getting a workout and leaving it behind, for the better.

I don’t understand how anyone could believe Allen after the business with his stepdaughter.

not OK Cruz

Great idea... they should market it as “Automated Lane Change Capable”

lmao