Shrill.

At Swim-Two-Birds is one of my all-time favorites. Ever since reading that I have always read 3 books at once. Always a work of classic literature, a sic-fi novel, and some non-fiction science/philosophy work. Three beginnings and three endings.

Shit fire! I can't wait until this damn PhD is in the bag and I can retire to a quiet life teaching kids, and reading books all day everyday in a pub. I only have 10 under my belt for the year. Lengthwise, they are all between 600 pages and The Brothers Karamozov, but I would like to have come closer to my 30 goal…

Looks like I'll have to call my mom and tell her I was joking when I asked her to stop buying me pots and pans for Xmas.

Hell hath no fury like a white man scorned.

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!

I still feel like I've wandered onto the set of Drunk History.

What about The Hills? I hear tell they're alive with something or other.

I tend to prefer people who exist.

Usually I would defend the third party vote because people should be allowed to vote without being forced to choose between a douche and a turd. This cycle, however, the douche and turd are the same candidate.

Rachel Evan Wood? Why is it every day I don't get drunk it seems like everyone else is?

I suppose they are waiting for the final 'Complete Series Ultimate Box Set' to release that reportedly god awful original pilot.

Unfortunately, as Marijauna is for some reason a Schedule I drug, we have very few data on it in general. All the researchers I know who want to study it, study Meth instead because it's easier to get for research.

Damn it you guys, I wanted this one! I'm just sitting here waiting around for my next participant to show up so she can provide me with several more datum to add to all my data.

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Don't put Jeff Goldblum and 'posthumously' in the same headline. 2016 has already taken too many. Be still heart, he's ok.

I thought about reviving it and just posting actual FoxNews headlines, but that still requires I visit the site. If anyone else wants it I'll bequeath you the login info.

I was the FoxNews gimmick account for a hot minute. It was pointless because I had to carefully sift through all the apalling, overtly racist comments and find the most toned-down ignorant comments otherwise get banned from disqus.

The AV Club

Well how the hell else am I going to learn about 'John Goodman: Life in Pics'?