It's a low bar that has proved too high to pass over for tens of millions of people. And probably never will be, right up until the bitter end, whatever that winds up looking like.

Man is a monster.

It was always part of the human genome, the internet just provides people like this with an exceptionally nutrient-rich habitat in which they can thrive.

Friday: played some Rock Band, I guess?
Saturday: we went to a pool party! The catch: it was way out in the middle of nowhere, and my friend who invited us is now married with two kids. Eventually the kids got too annoying but the pool was lovely and their house is gigantic (that's why you move so far away) and she and…

In the two cities I looked at, the $300 package is for rich fans that want to help underwrite the tour (basically). Photo ops + prime seats + a VIP exclusive gift. If the non-VIP seats are all sold out (the ones that are "only" $50): that's a bummer. If the $300 seats don't include anything other than a seat, that's ……

Um. Hmmm. Well, my fingers are crossed, but that doesn't fit with my image of Squirrel Girl. At all.

There's a FB event at an Applebee's in Philly this week, they claim that all sorts of Apple and Bee acts are performing there. Obviously a joke but I laughed. Also I would indeed pay to see Fiona Apple sing at Applebees.

Clams. You slice them into tiny pieces for clam chowder. But at room temperature, you would just tear them apart. That was the theory as presented to me, and I was willing to go with it, but I've never worked with clams, obviously you know way more about how it should be done that I do. If you find this technique…

The surprise movie barely had one snake reference in the whole film but they still had fun with the snake theme because why not. $90 for a coffee mug filled with a spring snake?! Well, they note it has a really high thread count, so, there you go.

Suggested alternative: "leotarded". Seriously, Dan Savage came up with that idea, and it kinda made sense to me at the time.

Or keep using the other word. You're delivering a pretty powerful message if you insist on it, but maybe that's on purpose.

Nee.

A suggestion I saw on TV: freeze clams before cutting them up for chowder. Otherwise you wind up with a mess, instead of pieces that are all the same size that more-or-less stay together even once you defrost + cook them in a chowder. Though perhaps they are still slippery + dangerous. Just less of a mess.

Hmmm. That might just work. Or a candle? Now I'm curious.

I am not usually affected, or not that badly, but every once in a while I'll get hold of an especially strong batch and it STINGS. But only for a few minutes, and then everything is fine. It's nowhere near the ordeal of touching your eyes (or other sensitive parts) after chopping hot peppers.

If it has literally never…

My skull is a weird shape. Really odd. I can't go bald, not unless I'm trying to win an alien look-alike contest [do they still have that in Roswell on July 4th weekend?], and I have just slightly too much price to volunteer for that. Fortunately my family is also blessed with full heads of hair right on through death…

"Didn't We". That same song was also the B-side to "Brandy".

I went to a festival many years ago [Jiffy Lube Live? Or maybe it was when it was Nissan Pavilion?] where they played videos on a giant screen in front of the stage between each act. Music-related, but not generally "music videos". Documentary shorts? Or material edited specifically for the show [was it back when…

I bought the 3rd linked hit song to play in Rock Band because I was promised that it was fun. And it is! Oh, and they are in that Pepsi commercial where Drew Brees sings with them, "and live while we're young…".

That's the price for the "hang out with the stars" package.

There is no hope. He Will Kill Us All and you know it. Seriously.