Here’s a useful tip: don’t wait around until June to start paying out and collecting, as no one gives the remotest of fucks about fantasy football in fucking June. Our commissioner just ruined our twenty year old league by doing this. Now he’s goose-chasing people, screwing up payouts and the whole thing is all cocked…

I have some very close friends who lost everything due to Sandy. You wouldn’t believe how many brainless morons say things like “wow, you got a brand new house out of the deal!” like it was a big stroke of good fortune that everything they owned was destroyed in an hour.