- Jay Leno

Weird. This is normally when I start my blackout binge of shame drinking. What am I supposed to do with the rest of the day? Are people supposed to be happy on Sunday? Very confusing.

I'm a true Browns fan: I don't believe they've actually won until I sober up. I get these hallucinations, you see. It happens when the water for your bourbon and branch comes from the mighty Cuyahoga.

Goodell way off bass once again.

So we're just not going to talk about the guy asleep behind him then?

I'd say join the neighborhood watch but that won't end well.

How does it feel to be the oldest person on planet Earth? Are you one of those people who yearns for the days when the QBs were white and the arms were inkless?

Shure seems like you're just jealous, guy.

Did you ever manage to get that problem with the local lads running across your property dealt with?

Amazing how quickly the NFL can come up with a clear, concise & specific set of regulations on a compelling issue that it cares about: Making money. Beating the everliving fuck out of women & children? Not so much.

Beats by Ray, though, are still being evaluated and will be allowed while due process occurs.

It brings me great joythat his wife also has the hair.

Just say that daddy works hard so that his family can afford fitted caps. Or are we talking about the cousins on the grass? Please be clearer.

How am I going to explain this to my seven-year-old?

Because it is far more profitable (for the government industrial machine) to have ten platforms that each do one job adequately than one platform that can do all ten jobs supremely.

I don't think that's that whole story. Looking around Mini forums and being a Mini owner tells me that a lot of it is still that the core Mini audience disapproves of the new Hardtop. Those that want "normal" car are still not gonna shop for a Mini, they'll be getting the much, much, much more sensible option: Fiesta.…

We dropped our Cooper S for the Abarth. Price, maintenance over the long haul and a departure in design from the R53 made my wife look elsewhere. Just didn't have the uniqueness to it, it had before.

Looks like the tow truck just ran straight through a red light.

"Towed at owner's expense".

Oh, her? Don't worry about her; she does this at every game. That's Peggie the Pirate, and she wanders into the dugout at every game to complain to Danny Murtaugh that "there's too many of those people on the team these days." Adorable, really.