Neither of these fuckers can spell and it is DRIVING ME ABSOLUTELY INSANE

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; if you are receiving emails from someone who still has not removed the “sent from ________ device” auto signature, bail.

When are these kids going to learn? You have to be a skill position player to get away with a felony.

My grandfather recently passed and I inherited some nazi souvenirs, I keep them out of pride. Gran’pa was a medic (unarmed in WWII) who landed on D-day, served the whole war in Europe and towards the end of the war a division of Germans surrendered to him to avoid the Russians as he moved alone to the front. he took…

Reporter (snickering): “So, uh, you think Myles will be drafted?”

I have $50,000... can I also take out such a policy? At 6’0”, 165 lbs and age 33, I’m worried I, too, won’t be taken in the first round of the 2016 NFL Draft.

Really hoping the Jays sneak “God Save the Queen” in there if they make it that far. Might end the stupid thing once and for all.

Pretty sure Bin Laden destroyed baseball by introducing “God Bless America” into the 7th inning stretch.

Need a bassist? Only bass... I will not play any other instruments! It’s my role and that’s that!

Even Patriot-level cheating is positively cloak-and-dagger compared to the brazen Gilded Age Shenanigans (you’re welcome for the fantasy team name) going on in the DFS “industry”.

DraftKings and FanDuel in a nutshell.

Nothing is more important to DraftKings and FanDuel than the integrity of the games we offer to our customers

My daily fantasy consists of both of these companies going away.

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I looked up Kobe on Basketball-Reference last night, and it’s downright disheartening to remember all the talk in between the 2012 and ‘13 seasons when Kobe was about to pass 32,000 points and people were wondering out loud whether he’d pass Kareem on the all-time list.

If you like skinny, gaunt, fleshbags with exposed rib-cages...

And will probably be out of football in 2 years.

No BBQ should have the word fast near it.

You think Rex Ryan will just sign some of those practice squaders or go full Jeff Fischer and make them captains for the next Bills-Dolphins game?

...and remands the case to the Kirkland Municipal Court