Fight or flight, natural human reaction. Can’t blame the guy for choosing to fight the possible threat.

I blame Obamacare. Make NFL medical imaging great again.

Hah. The “I fucked your dad” guy calling me a halfwit. Work on your material, your troll-game is weak as fuck.

Nobody said anything about my mom. You should work on your reading comprehension.

I know. Why does this Trump fellow keep sliding by with no scrutiny whatsoever!?!?

You hope people confront you so you can start a fight AND your best internet material is about sexual encounters with a stranger’s mother? You sir are top class and what we should all strive to be.

All In For Week 1 Man Bun.

We’re just not as morally superior as you are.

The sole reason for everything he does? No. An influencing factor in everything he posts on Deadspin? Yes.

No matter who owns this website, T. Burke will always be an “edgy” “hipster”.

Jurassic World is definitely not a remake. If anything, it’s a sequel because it tells a new story based on events in the movies that came before it in the franchise. By definition, to “remake” something is to make the same thing again. A good example of a movie remake would be Funny Games.

This lame attempt at a joke would have made more sense if you put that on an Eagles, Jets, or Steelers jersey.... ya know, the teams that have actually employed a piece of shit animal abuser.

You how the old saying goes... “bloggers who rehash stories about Marvin Harrison definitely trying to kill a dude and probably killing the only witness to the crime get stitches” ...or something like that.

Doesn’t Matt Schaub already have that deal trademarked?

Your reaction to hearing unfavorable sports opinions is the same as my reaction to eating at Chipotle. Interesting.

Holy cow, every story you attempt to write is terrible.

Don’t let anyone tell you there’s no such thing as a stupid question.

He looks like a mix between Paul Giamatti and Louis CK.

Relax, guy. Girls always tell me size doesn’t matter, so I don’t think you have anything to fret about.

Oh please, we’ve complained about WAAYYYYY dumber stuff.