Cop?

Weed smoker/eater?

And I think it’s bullshit. Kids really benefit from a healthy dose of benign neglect.

Much of the stress may be innate but much of it is manufactured, too, and the especially insane (to me) parts of contemporary childrearing—you can’t go to the park alone, you’re on four travel volleyball teams and two travel baseball teams, you couldn’t possibly do your homework alone so Mommy has to help you—don’t…

I guess I’m just a miserable asshole but this video just reinforces to me what a worthless piece of shit I am.

Are you fucking serious? That is ridiculous.

Wait, what is with that other dude/chick criticizing you? How is that even?

She’s obviously way out to lunch but this is also a red herring. The vast majority of rapes do not take place after both parties are naked. Suggesting that there’s some epidemic of women getting naked and then claiming they change their mind about having sex is demeaning to women and rape victims.

Communications *is* the worst. Not intellectual-y, not technical. Bad times all around.

For the investment vehicle I recommend Vanguard’s target retirement date accounts. Vanguard is the original passively managed/low fee financial services firm. “Passively managed” means that the stocks/whatever are picked on the basis of general criteria (e.g., “in the S&P 500”) rather than selected individually by a…

OMG, this one is AMAZING. I read Joe Andoe's memoir because of it.

Would have been way better without the sound effects.

I know this is offensive, and I'm sorry not sorry, but I'm kind of drunk and they were talking about Adultosaur above and I just now realized that she and you are not the same person. I mean, you *rhyme*. That's legit not fair.

Talking the hell out of and getting professional help definitely fall in that middle road! Agree that they are great (the best) solutions. There are also situations where they're not appropriate and an ultimatum is better: "If you keep criticizing the way I load the dishwasher I won't do the dishes anymore." …

Thank you!!!! A million stars.

I agree pretty wholeheartedly. I love Carolyn Hax, too! But it's not quite so cut and dry as that advice makes it sound. One aspect is that the threat really makes it clear how much you want and need something. Another aspect is that an individual responding to an ultimatum may not simply be changing because they…

Really really really well said.

Agreed, but with the prevalence of gaslighting I would advise all women to trust their instincts over the reassurances of a man.

Yeah, I'm really splitting hairs now that it's being pointed out to me. It was just a typical unjustified Tracy categorical that I reacted negatively to. You're definitely right that the vast majority of ultimatums are way uncool. But I don't think they're uncool as a category, just in practice (most of the time).

Disagree. Ultimatums *can* be controlling and manipulative. If all you're doing is trying to get someone to do what you want, that's controlling and manipulative. But if they are honest reflections of your feelings—"I need you to stop drinking or I'm going to leave"—then they are fair.