They really should have gone Laurence Powell on him.

What the fuck are you talking about, you see this shitbag’s point?

This is all so insane. Every adult is in full control of where they spend the holidays (and every other day). Your parents can’t force you to do anything. Realizing that is the true mark of being an adult.

Bingo. Letter writer needs to come clean on the ethnicity question.

Different cultural difference. This is how Chinese people from China eat, with the exception of they order four times as much food as is necessary.

I’m sorry, but this is batshit. A *pound* of pitted cherries? No alcohol/flavor combo is worth that time/effort commitment.

I can’t imagine it wouldn’t have been on your initial list, but “Housekeeping” by Marilynne Robinson.

Ricockulous. No driving unless you’re in absolutely tiptop physical, mental, and emotional shape, nine hours of sleep, no stressors occupying your thoughts, no indigestion? Better idea, let’s just ban driving—there will be fewer car accidents.

Thank god someone said. This guy was a half-talented eighth grader.

In general, yes, my point is pedantic. However, since *his* point about the stupidness of people includes at its a core a bit of not-so-smart-ness, the judges allow it.

The really funny part about that quote is that “half of people are dumber than that” is not the meaning of average at all. That’s the median.

“So I am in favor of using the signal, even in obvious turning instances, and even when no one else is around. Because you know what happens when people don’t signal there? They get lazy.”

I’m really ready for what dudes “meant” not to be a factor in these conversations anymore.

Wow, the principle of “clean up the mess you made” turns childhood into a nightmare. Ladies and gentlemen, contemporary America.

Don’t have kids, so honest question—why is this a bad idea?

Leash laws are like sexual harassment laws. You can leave your dog off the leash if you’re confident it won’t act up and are prepared to go to jail and have the dog put down if you’re wrong, just like you can make sexual jokes in front of your co-workers if you’re confident they’ll find it funny and are prepared to…

I go to dozens of baseball games every year. I have always wanted a foul ball and have never gotten one. Explain to me why I have to give one to the kid I don’t know sitting behind me if one comes my way and I catch it fair and square?

I’m in Chicago, what is your field?

That’s reasonable, but I think you should keep sexting him!

Wait, why don’t you want him to come over? That’s how sex happens!