Pardon me, guys, I’ll just be busy burying my skull into my recently varnished work desk.

Wow, Quentin. Way to completely invalidate yourself in the eyes of someone who wasted 4 years and $80,000 on film school because I thought I wanted to be like you. Glad I never made it in the industry, because apparently the only way to get ahead in Hollywood is to be a f***ing monster. Yeah, you may have never gone…

Holy fornicating fecal matter, this is why DC can’t have nice things like championships. All their teams are run by gigantic friggin’ morons that are more concerned about getting butts in seats with “popular players” rather than win titles. Kelly Oubre is one of my favorite players on the roster and this would be the…

Typically it’s a contempt of court charge you get hit with by the judge. If the defendant wants to press charges for assault, he can. So, yes, he could be charged with assault.

I mean...I wouldn’t go so far as calling her a c-word but she IS Nancy Pelosi, you know? And Mr Oldman is a great actor, but if he isn’t an American citizen, I would politely ask him to not discuss such things. We know she’s...who she is, we don’t need to be reminded of that fact by a cheeky Brit, k thanks.

Anyone else annoyed that they always seem to settle on 8 or 9 movies but not 10? I know how they vote for the best picture noms but it’s aggravating knowing that there is perfectly suitable space for a 10th spot and you could totally fit Logan in there because it was amazing, but oh well, la la la...

La Plata, MD. STILL open. Astounds me.

There’s still a Roy Rogers open in La Plata, MD and every time I drive by it on my way to visit my mom I think, “Christ on crackers, THAT place is still open?” I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone outside of elderly people eat inside it. Their fries are dank, though.

I, too, after moving to Richmond, noticed the irony of a Watermelon Festival that took place in the former capital of the confederacy. Not awkward at all :)

Rahim Moore shot through my head when I saw that play, too. Glad I wasn’t the only one. Lol

His name is Starfox!!!!! AAAAAHHHH!

This was Bossman. Not to inject sadness into the comments, but this giant derp-o-saurus had to put down about 6 months ago and I found this photo on my external hard drive. I will miss this goober so much. Look at him and be in awe of his cuteness. Rest in peace, you good doge.

I think this passage takes the cake:

Go listen to the song Sarcastrophe and tell me these guys still don’t have it. They kick ass.

Yo that kid in the background cowering makes the whole vid.

Don’t eat the fuggin’ pizza. Keep hatin’ haters. Boom. Problem solved.

My girlfriend FINALLY got a super nes classic and I’ve been having a blast reliving memories of controller tossing frustration

As an Orioles fan, I cannot tell you how sweet to watch this is. I hope every underage Houston fan interferes with the ball.

only because the calves fucked him once.