My hustle is buying the cheapest seat I can find to Yankees games and walking down to preferred seating behind home plate and telling them I’m Mike Francesa’s son, the caveat being this only works for Friday night home games when Big Mike is home watching Blue Bloods

You can buy a taquito from 7-11 and get a free tickets to a Marlins game. I love the stadium - the seats are like still brand new.

I never miss an opportunity to see Neil Walker* up close!

Must be great being a Marlins fan.

To agree to slow dance with you! You can’t just walk up to a girl and be like “hey can I put my hands on your waist” when you’re a dipshit 13 year old- at least, I never could. But the right song a) puts her in the mood for dancin’ and b) gives you the nerves to be like FUCK IT, I AM GONNA BE LIKE EMILE HIRSCH IN “THE…

They’re a stiff contender.

I live in a beautiful neighborhood just outside of Baton Rouge. Definitely doesn’t feel like a cesspool of despair and misery to me and others...