PROBABLY NOT EVEN A NATURAL BLONDE.

REBEL WILSON GOT TEXTS FROM TOM BRADY! SHE IS THE REAL DEFLATOR!

The plot thickens!

Are you actually making the argument that a woman in an evening gown and flat shoes is roughly equivalent to a sloppy man in board shorts and a muscle tank? Because if so, then you need to go back to the drawing board and find a new thought.

Goddammit. I have to pay better attention. ‘Cause I had one for this column, too.

It just seems WAY fishy to be claiming abuse in order to make babies with the person who abused you. It would be like a woman saying “He abused me, so I have to have his sperm!” He’s not trying to get her legally punished for abuse; he’s trying to make her make babies.

Is it just me or is there something ironic about the Kartrashian klan making a career and fortune on a sex tape - and getting top billing on many o’ Dirt Bags- while Janet, who is actually incredibly talented, lost her career because of a nip slip?

LOL I definitely think my hotness factor has increased since I started doing intervals, although not necessarily while I am doing them. But intervals take a lot of monitoring to the feedback on your treadmill, whether you are going by distance or time, and then there’s all the praying for survival, so I don’t think…

Hunh, is it stopped-watch-o’clock already?

Comic Sans-Fucks

I GOT YOU BOO

WHAT THE FUCK.

Elisabeth Moss

I actually was standing in my closet the other night thinking

I might be an awful person, because of all the things in the article that line is the only one that made me go “Huh? Really?”. Don’t forget to pick up cottage cheese, to God be the glory.

classy

HOLY FUCK

BOBBY YOU’RE A GRADE A TROLL OK