Are you John McClain? because there's no other excuse for that.

gettin jiggy wit it.

Hi, Calvin.

1.21 Gigabytes! THat's uh…not that much…

or a George Clinton / early Funkadelic song

"Surely, the star of one of cinema’s most notorious serial-killer stories has been cast as the most vicious character, right?"
ROOKER!!! I love that dude.

Totally agree with both Intervention and Hoarders. It's not as simple as it looks in any situation. Sometimes on Hoarders I'm like "Fuck me? Who is this much of an asshole?" then I remember it's most likely combined with mental illness. In any case on both shows i root for the people to get better.

or Monster Chest.

Watch "Never Sleep Again", they kind of explore that.

that would be epic. If they did that it would restore all my faith in their desire to entertain.

And Tara rocks.

just at the end of the deer scene, they should have played Joe Cocker "Little help from my friends", you know to give it that "Wonder Years" touch.

seems silly to leave this out:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wi…

If I'm not me, then who the hell am i?

ITS NOT A TUMOR!

Why are you hosting other peoples game shows? STOP IT!

About time ball point pens were recognized for their versatility and boldness. My go to sketch tool when I'm on the phone with a troubleshooting call or a vendor.

why cover something so recent? It has barely had time to develop a smell.

You dont like sitting with your dad's second cousin and his third wife?

Annie's Boobs!