They must have panicked whenever you cleared your throat and delivered the first line of a limerick.

Most people are drunk on mead, they don’t know the difference between a three-hour styling marathon and a wig.

Nothing says “ready to be Serving Wench #3 at the local Renaissance Festival” like this!

What Wilson says is true: if one of your own players has a bruised back from being hit by a pitch, the bruise will disappear when you hit a member of the opposing team— it’s the magic of “taking care of your teammates.”

Next up on the Spanos hit list: equipment itself.

It’s still susceptible to controlled demolitions

Of course the UFC is fucked, what with Dana White being a human choad.

Maybe one day after he’s tamed he can do a tap dance with Kelly in tux n’ tails to Puttin’ on the Ritz.

There’s always room for reason 5a

Blake Bortles is dead, say hello to Branch Burfles.

Done and done and done... oh please don’t make me go on Daily Kos. You have my word that I have only one animating political thought: to never have a Republican elected ever again. Secondary thought is: national organizations (DNC/DLC) should take all the time they spend trying to woo back white “Reagan Democrats” (or…

Obama exited with a 60% approval rate, putting him on par with Clinton and Reagan. The two least popular exiters in recent years are Nixon and Dubya, and they left only slightly lower than what Trump’s current ceiling is (he hasn’t seen 40% in about three months).

I’m one and I’ve no problem with anybody with a functioning brain writing us off as largely hopeless and to be worked around in forming a viable electoral coalition.

Yes, but let’s not forget those terrifically edgy, comically ground-breaking Bud Light commercials she did with Seth Rogen, another genius who’s in the same league as Richard Pryor or George Carlin.

Unfortunately his choice of words and spurious reasoning has led to social media campaigns against Minnesota pitcher Hector Santiago, former defensive standout Antrel Trolle, and the Ol’ Ball Coach Steve Spurious.

The “thing I read about in the news was a cartoon two weeks later!” phenomenon may have caused me to marvel at their work ethic, but never laugh at the product.

Hot damn, they’re playing that elephant song again.

♫ Hail Brittonia, Your team is in fourth place

I liked the original text authored by Siddharta Guatama: Enlightenment, Explained. It totally was in your face.

My theory: the Texas Legislature is an unconstitutional bill machine not because they think it will survive judicial scrutiny, but to run up billable hours for their lobbyist-consultants. This is against the prevailing theory that they are dipshit racist fucks using every conceivable dirty trick in the book to delay…