in 1995 I got pulled over at 2am for breaking the rear tires on my 78 T-Bird loose as I went around a turn. This is the conversation that got me out of a ticket....somehow

Officer: Where are you headed?
Me: Home
Officer: Where are you coming from?
Me: The bar, I work at a bar
Officer: Have you been drinking
Me: I had a…

‘Just make sure to throw a nice exhaust on it.’ - No doubt, that stock exhaust is butt.  

Spore wasn’t great, but it’s still better than No Man’s Sky.

You even sound like a QA Tester.

I am a software engineer and I am ok with it. I know some sound engineers who would agree.

God bless you: you precious, non-reading, little wine snob. You make the world a more entertaining place.

Slippery Slope fallacy?

and the woman’s name ‘Lisa’

The ‘110 MPH change up’ was a nice touch. 

I missed out on a job offer once because the hiring director told me that based on my previous salary they wouldn’t be able to afford me. I thought that was weird. At least try to negotiate?

Massholes say “Kid” (sometimes pronounced ‘Khed’).

As in: “I pahked my truck wicked high on the snow bank by Tufts, Khed! You shoulda seen it, khed. Sully, and Fitzy, and other-Sully all thought it was wicked funny”

Dear MisterImmortal,

I love running 5ks - so much more satisfying than just running 3.1 miles for some reason.

I love running 5ks - so much more satisfying than just running 3.1 miles for some reason.

There were TKOs too. A few Steiner screwdrivers and your opponents wouldn’t get back up.

The Japan only release: Virtual Pro Wrestling 2 (you don’t need to know Japanese it has the same menus as Wrestlemania 2000).

That game had all the best Japanese pro wrestlers, Terry Funk, and even Rickson Gracie.

In the 90s I attended a private boarding school in MA. I wont tell you the name, but it rhymes w/ Borthfield Mount Herman. Then, due to things that happen, I had to enroll in a public school in MA for my senior year.

“The exhaust revealed itself as soon as I looked at the rusted-through exhaust...”

Seems shady.

“No one from Boston should ever be allowed to make a Boston movie ever again.”
What about:
Uma Thurman
Chris Evans
ummmm
James Spader
Eli Roth.... oh I am starting to see your point here.

When my son was 3 he was obsessed w/ dogs. He would get all excited when he saw a doggo, and always wanted to try and pet them. Then we saw a coyote for the first time. A Coyote looks just like a dog to me, but my son was TERRIFIED of the little Coyote. There was something very primal going on. Anyway, that’s the…