Deal with it.

I don’t get it.

“Anything beyond this is gravy.”

I was trying to start a flame war. Damn you for being so reasonable!

I think you mean the ‘85 Super Bowl. Yes, it was played in January 1986, but it was for the 1985 season. The ‘86 Super Bowl was won by the 1986 New York Giants, and was played in January 1987.

Pizza rat?

To be fair to you, that could have been for any number of reasons.

I put my wife’s panties in the freezer, but that’s only so I can make soup out of them when she travels.

I lived in Miami for two years in the ‘90s, and so I speak fluent Spanish: The announcer is saying that Pablito is escaping through a tunnel under the prison that your soccer game is being played on, and also that communism isn’t that bad.

And holy shit, that was terrific.

Well, the funny part is that the whole story was a lie. The truth is, there is no Greg. This is just a burner account so that I can give myself setup jokes, on my own terms. For I am not MisterBurns... I am OldBeigeGuy, and I am the best part of me!

Wait til she finds out he pooped in the upper tank of the toilet.

Maybe you should look it up on Bing or something.

Guns, dummy.

with Hardy’s behavior going as far as him allegedly showing up at her home uninvited to smell her pillows and towels—

The fault lies with me as well, Bill. Because I’m outraged by this, and I can say “Boycott 2022” until I’m blue in the face, but I know goddamn well I’m going to watch the thing. It would take a USMNT boycott for me to join the boycott. Okay, and maybe Germany, too. And Argentina. And Brazil. Maybe even Belgium, and…

Sounds like you’re baby blaming.

In related news, Patrick Kane got two minutes for raping.