I don’t see why batters have to get all angry and take menacing steps toward the mound when they get hit by a pitch. They should just take the high road, calmly jog to first, and when they get there, jump and slam their spikes down into the first baseman’s ankle.

Those aren’t selfies.

“I’m allergic to nachos!”

Oh, my God! You’re a Speaker and a Writer? Can I suck your dick?

You bet your sweet ass it is.

No entiendo su mierda, culero.

Leisure Suit Larry. He always had the best stories.

That’s like saying “faggot” just means a bundle of sticks. (And technically, “puto” means “male whore”.)

I WANT THE WARRIORS TO TAKE ALL FOUR POINT GUARDS

This is good kinja.

If I fuck the placenta, does that mean my kid’s going to become a shriveled old dick?

Goddamit.

“Go fuck yourself, San Di-” oh, crap. someone posted that already, didn’t they?

Must have called the guy a toe sucker.

Brandon Phillips is still pissed his mom turned his old bedroom into her arts and crafts workshop.

Are you kidding? That guy pulled his teammate just out of reach of the ref’s first punch, that probably would have knocked him out.

If Claudio Reyna is so good, then why didn’t Klinsmann invite him to the roster in Brazil?

“Landon Donovan is not even on that list!!!1! LMFAO!” - Jonathan Klinsmann

He shoulda been bobbin’ and weavin’.

I hear Ball is going to start his own league.