The 49ers hired Chip Kelly. With a day to digest that, I still feel like this: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Chip is tremendously overrated. He took boatloads of Nike money and used it to create a program that could beat up on inferior opponents. The Ducks routinely lost to teams that could either play defense or had more than a week to prepare.

Go for the bolo tie, Teti!

Heat. Of course, I'm in Los Angeles, where the parkas come out when it dips into the 60s (or as my wife calls it "freezing").

I like to think of it as a competition where we're all winners. Except for the Lions. And the Browns.

… and then the Lions said to the Browns, "oh yeah? Watch this!"

You guys remember way back in the early years when the pre-Thanksgiving "episode" was just a cheap compilation of recaps and some boring unaired material? This is way better.

It's one of the main things I've been rooting for since week 2. I feel better that it looks like it's actually gonna happen, but worse that that is what my fandom has been reduced to.

We had a discussion about backup QBs last year. Whitehurst is maybe the most amazing case for me. Consider Matt Flynn, who's had a similar career path, but at least kicked it off by playing absolutely out of his mind in a meaningless week 17 game when Rodgers got to rest. He never came close to repeating it, of…

The NFL, recognizing that they screwed up the game for colorblind people with those Jets/Bills uniforms, decided to even things out by punishing the rest of us.

Sadly, conference alignment isn't even the biggest obstacle this year.

The Stanton celebration is the greatest thing to happen all season. Short of the Niners beating the Seahawks in the Super Bowl, nothing is going to top it.

The look on Keith's face during the description of the Spa Day was delightful.

You're late.

Alright, where the hell is Pops!? Is he colorblind and still trying to figure out which team won last night? I want a Superthread!

Coughlin's face in a choke hold. Those Bills unis would pale in comparison.

And on every snap, the logo for the team on defense is temporarily desaturated. Maybe this is to ensure you know which team has possession. Maybe they got a new intern who downloaded a copy of After Effects from the Pirate Bay and snuck into the production room.

At first I kind of hated the idea of a field goal kicking contest, now I think it could be kind of interesting. Set it up like an auction: each team gets to pick an arbitrary distance to make a single kick from. Whoever has the longest successful kick wins. Maybe have the teams select their distance blindly.

There are a lot of heads and tails jokes to make here, but I'm not doing it.

Like taking down Capone for tax avoision. I'm all for it.