The term “asparagus water” makes me think about how asparagus pee smells.

They’re cute on some people. Kate Mara, bearing an unfortunate resemblance to a frog already, has chosen to accentuate that. For her, I don’t think it was a good call.

YOU SHUT YOUR GODDAM MOUTH FINGERS WITH THE TYPING.

Who gives a shit? Who made you the arbiter of worthy motivations?

What’s really sad is someone that’s almost 50 still being judgmental as fuck.

Why should anything that someone chooses to do, and enjoys doing to the point of writing about it, make you sad? Why so patronizing?

My eyes just rolled so hard it was audible.

Oh shut up. She’s just fine. These containers are recyclable. Seriously, quit your bitching.

What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

Fjorda Helluvitt.

Bjorn Disway.

I doubt it’s a matter of luck. Halle has always struck me as being a genuine narcissist. It’s virtually impossible to have a successful relationship with one of those.

I’ll say this: I love cheese. I love it. I love everything from skunk-fart reblochon to nutty Cornish Yarg. I make cheese. I know cheese. I am cheese.

The wine disguises the taste of the plastic.

Is it an unpopular opinion to suggest that actual cheese lovers have nothing to worry about?

I was at a Logan’s and the couple behind us were being so rude to the waitress, berating her and treating her like she was an idiot. She came to us next and you could tell she was upset even though she was very friendly and professional. My pregnancy hormones took over my mouth when I opened it to order my drink and…

I’ve joked on occasion that everyone working in the service industry should be able to kill a set number of customers per year with no repercussions. Say you had five allowed executions each year, and when you used one the cops came and officially marked one off. Customers would never know if a given server or cashier…

I haven’t even finished this but I did just finish the no foam cappuccino story, and it’s making me angry. Not even ironically angry or funny angry. I just loathe most no foam orders. The person almost always has no understanding about how their drink is made and when there is even a small amount of foam in their…

Carla’s honeycomb ice cream story 😱😱😱😩😩😩

It continues to amaze me that some customers think that people who professionally make coffee drinks don’t know how to make coffee drinks. Like a barista doesn’t know how to make a cappuccino?