It looks like he is thinking ‘Say the inner cities are living in hell one more time motherfucker.’

Republicans will finally get to know what it feels like to be forced to carry something to term that you never wanted. I hope the entire party implodes!

Ken Bone has a great Twitter account:

Those are handy in case someone walking by has blood coming out of their wherever!

I’m really proud of this stunt I pulled on my neighbor:

I still wonder which McCain is the real one - the moderate who ran against Bush in the primaries, or the nutcase who emerged after the rise of the Tea Party.

Remember that 5 minute window back in 2000 when John McCain was regarded as a refreshing change of pace Republican, a straight shooter who even democrats could respect?

Oh God. Pussygate.

I have a cousin in 6th grade and it was months ago that he started sleeping alone. The last time I babysat overnight he kept saying “it’s time for bed! It’s time for you to go to bed!” because his parents told him it was fine for him to not sleep in his bed because it was a special occasion. Meaning he could sleep in…

Do you smell toast?????

Plus who’s going to speak up for a mime when they don’t speak up for anyone else?

Actually first they came for the mimes but everyone was pretty okay with that.

All I know is, anyone who puts on a scary clown outfit nowadays had some pretty big shoes to fill.

When you are really bad at a thing and you love doing that thing so much that you can’t stop, there’s no limit to your potential amount or severity of failures.

But he’s a pro at performing in a wheel chair!

“Tiffany has always been a very special person, very confident, very driven, always the hardest worker and not bashful about it.

“Tiffany is a tremendous young woman with a big and beautiful heart. She was always a great student and a very popular person no matter where she went. I am incredibly proud of Tiffany and how well she has done. — DJT.”

Dear Jezebel,

Global warming does not exist.

Sincerely yours,
G.O.P. Santa

I agree. My grandma says similar things to me occasionally. I’m 27, and sometimes when we’re hanging and I’m talking about my life, she’ll just be like “god, when I was your age, your mom was already 8 years old”. And she’s definitely not doing it in a “hint, hint, give me great-grandbabies” way. She’d never…

What she means is, when you grow up, 26 is childhood. It’s postadolescent. You look at your old photos and you marvel at how little and unwise and young and immature you were then, even though you felt like a grownup at the time. You remember your thoughts at that age and you cringe at their sheer…