I know you didn't get to see much of my Swan Lake, but I was so proud of how far my girls had come that year.
They're not always so easy to train.
There was one year that we couldn't even perform a full show by the end! 
We just had to run through a few basic positions and then they ended up performing the macarena…

Well, sugar, if you were thinking that your weekly dose of Gilmore felt slightly off-kilter, I think I know why.
No Patty!
As usual, I joke… though I do feel my presence always added a certain… joie de vivre and playfulness to proceedings.
I must apologise, by the way, for my tone last week. 
If I seemed off, it's because…

Joe didn't really have a particular 'closing time' at that point.
You know his apartment used to be at the back of the shop?
Well, I call it an 'apartment', it was basically just a bed and a TV… not that I've been there.
He was going through a terrible divorce that was bleeding him dry and, well, if the phone rang, he'd…

Okay, so bear with me here, dolls.
I realise I signed up for this gig to talk you through my adventures episode to episode, but there wasn't a lot to talk through this week.
"Crazy old Patty's such a gossip" yadda yadda yadda, bemused expressions and scene. 
I think we can all agree that's been well and truly established.
…

Oh I bet you would, honey.

You know? I think if I were a little more subtle in my approach, I could have reeled Christopher in.
But then, I'm hardly a pillar of subtlety…
If you're going to try and make it in 'the business', subtle is not something you can lean on too heavily.
If you want to open a dance studio in Stars Hollow with Taylor…

Honey, I've been smoking since it was 'healthy'; I think any damage done has been done by now.

Don't for a second think I didn't catch the look, the tone of voice, the general air of disdain that came from Lorelai when I gave her my drums for the rummage sale.
She may not have appreciated them, but that was a piece of my history I was giving up.
You get to a point in life when you're maybe not quite as young as…

Well, in my official capacity as Taylor's right-hand gal, I'm quite sure I have no idea why you'd say that.
Unofficially, however…

"Written as a very small town"?
Sugar, it was a small town.
Honestly, the drought of kids wanting to dance only lasted for a while, but I think by that point, I'd tired of the whole thing.
Tired of production after production that only parents of the children involved would attend and… I needed to get out of it.
Of…

Well, doll, I could either give you the 'truth' or the truth and I'm nothing if not an honest woman.

I know what you're all thinking.
A couple of episodes without Patty is a couple of episodes without sunshine.
Oh, I kid…
Maybe I'll give you all an update on little ol' me.
Since I last saw you - or, should I say, since you last saw me - we had to close up the old studio. 
I don't know whether you noticed, but there has…

Oh, you know me, honey. 
I'm always around.

You know? Generally, I like Dean. 
He's tall. 
I like 'em tall…
But seeing him asleep in my studio with Rory set off the lioness in me.
Sadly, I never had any children - I was off dancing and enjoying my youth, which turned into my not-as-youthful years and, by then, the time had sadly passed - but Rory has always held a…

Oh doll, I never do…

"And flutter, flutter, flutter, flutter, flutter, flutter…
And LEAVES!
…I got pumpkins, I got pilgrims, I got no leaves!"

Palladino promised me I'd be Fanny's old dance rival in season two.
As a singer, I never amounted to much, but I got the gams for dancin'.

If they were in my studio, I'd have 'em all in costume, dancing for their lives.
They'd all look delightful dressed as yams and dancing 'round the gazebo.
Ahhh, but it's not to be *takes long drag of cigarette*

Yeah, I read another review of this episode saying Jules was coping with the impending loss of her dad.
Maybe they know something we don't and we should prepare a truly depressing season finale.

Oh… 'Gummer'.