It’s also really common for kids to (of their own volition!) not like a parent and not feel safe with them. All those kids are old enough to have their own opinions. I can’t tell you how shitty it is to be told by the court that because you are not 18, it is impossible that you would have any independent thought and…

My father figured out how to cook a steak well well done and it still be tender and delicious! It can be done!

“EAT YOUR SHAME CREATIONS IN SOLITUDE LIKE THE REST OF US, FREAK!”*

I’ve been working on improving my cooking skills for the past year. This resulted in a very tearful conversation with my husband, where I had to explain that if I was going to spend 8 hours in the kitchen making ravioli from scratch at his request, he could at least take a fucking bite before drowning it in Sriracha.

V…

Right. I’m not much of a drinker, but my Wisco blood and early days still gives me a tolerance level that would paralyze outsiders. I call it a life skill. Also: In the late ‘80’s, I was able to hustle a few bucks from the old men in the bars around NYU by my skill in draining a bottle of Pabst in about 15 seconds.…

When you grow up in La Crosse, you learn about the “World’s Largest Six-Pack” in kindergarten. We also hold the world record for most bars on one street. Also, Oktoberfest.

Fucking Illinois Bastard? Probably a Chicagoan? (Meant with love! And a misplaced sense of bitterness on I-94!)

Here in Wisconsin, we make the IRS give us our refunds in Miller Lite and Bratwurst.

You must be a FIB?

Then they chase their sausage with beer! Wisconsonites know what’s going on. They got this shit DOWN.

Sausage. They chase it with sausage.

Well what do you think they're chasing all that glorious cheese with? IT AINT ICED TEA FRIEND.

I agree with all of these except the weather! I know everyone thinks it’s gauche to talk about the weather, but it’s the great equalizer. “It’s so fucking hot right now I just want to wring out my boob sweat into a wading pool filled with ice and jump in” is the kind of conversation everyone can relate to.

What actually is the going rate for monogramming a thermos nowadays, anyway?

I want my two dollars.

I have an image of a montage set to the sound of “You’re My Best Friend” with a guy reminiscing about his favorite times with his dick now.

I feel like I’m the only one that doesn’t like it. I watched the first couple of episodes and just couldn’t. I mean, it was interesting but not enough to keep watching. Sometimes this world is a lonely place.

He's literally a fedora and a can of Axe body spray away from hitting douchebro bingo.

RAPE JOKE TRIGGER WARNING