Just trying to compensate for their too-small "footlongs" by shifting the shittiness to the ladies. Classic, I guess.

I commented with this on the first article, but as a biracial girl raised by a white mother, I feel for this family. It is no fun being raised by a woman you look nothing like. My mom did the best she could in our overly white town, but it sure as hell wasn't easy, and we heard some nasty words from all sorts. No…

We just called servers who ate fries off the plates "servers."

I love that you include Roseanne in this mix. People don't put her in the same category with other great TV moms, but SHE was out there busting her ass in any demeaning job she could get, sometimes two at a time, to make ends meet. Living in a town that didn't offer their kids a lot of options, but clearly loved them…

I don't think you quite understand the concept of giving birth. It can take over a day for the child to come out after contractions begin. That doesn't mean the child has to be born right there and then. This lady's contractions coming right after chasing the attacker meant that the extreme exertion she went through…

Reports failed to mention that, after leaving the birth canal, Ms. Thompson's third child proceeded to stand up and repeatedly punch Newton in the balls for being dumb enough to rob a woman that badass.

Nope. Calling BS on you. Having been 9 months pregnant twice I can attest that running down a mugger and fighting him off when you're that effing uncomfortable is the victory. She deserves the headlines. AND it's likely that event triggered her contractions.

Mayonnaise makes life worth living.

I'm trying to imagine the bringing mr.steak 3 god damn filets. No one needs that much beef to start with, his colon must be like one of those oversized 3 wick candles and his farts must sound like moos.

At this point, he began angrily shaking a bottle of ketchup, dumped it all over his once-beautiful porterhouse

that gif is everything.

Fucks given - 0

Someone whose publicist tells him that it's important for his image down the road. Think of some famous celebrity/athlete mugshots. Hell, if you came across this image randomly, you might not even know it's a mugshot.

Who smiles like that in a mugshot?

I love how they're just sittin' around on their sex pillow in this pic.

Fixed that for ya :)

I would be remiss if I did not point out how amazing this guy is for being such a good wingman for his fish. You don't want to date him? Fine. He's got 23 fish to introduce to you. They are tropical as fuck and ready to mingle. No hard feelings.

I'm old, for me it's Polo.

Happy trails. Man sweat. Speaking in a foreign language. Juggling a soccer ball. Driving safely. Knowing how to start a fire. A well placed curse word. The band of a guy's boxers sticking out slightly from the waistline of his jeans. Shirt sleeves rolled up to the forearms. Assuming I want queso and ordering it…

The fucking Winchester brothers.