For real. I'm so solid with a lot of the BOH. (Of course the executive chef treats me like I'm a fucking idiot whenever I'm trying to protect a customer that's told me about their severe shellfish allergies. "So uh, there's no way that shrimp could have come into contact with that pan, right?" "Idiot, we do not serve…

stop it

True story: as a Polish girl, I'm, like, 25% butter. The rest is potato.

I'm ethnic, too. Ethnically Polish, that is. This is the skin color of my people:

Potatoe is very...exotic.

Can somebody gif her reaction? INTERNET, WE NEED A REACTION GIF

"I really hate to be that guy and to stick up for coffee latte lady"

I feel like I should know who this person with the arm tattoos is.

So, you're saying that he doesn't look exzachly the same?

Ha, yes. I noticed that, too,

He lost 20 pounds.

I dunno. It looks like he just lost some weight. I think he looks very handsome, which is not something I ever expected to say about Zach Galifanakis.

We've secretly replaced our viewers' zach galifinakis with sanka. Let's see how they react!

Make Daddy a sandwich? Is he hungry? He makes really good sandwiches, though, better than mine. He'd probably prefer to make his own, you know? That way he can get all the toppings he likes on there. Also, do I make it first and then bring it across town to him, or do I go there and mess up his kitchen? This seems…

Wait what, this is like the time i found out Robert Redford is the guy in the gif below not Zach Galifianakis.

HEYO

Zach, I'm sorry. I have to break up with you...r hair. It's not working anymore. I've tried to accept it for what it is, but I just think I deserve better.

You know how some people listen and some people simply wait to talk? Lena Dunham waits to talk. You can see her using every last iota of self control to prevent her mouth from opening while Kaling was speaking.

He & Renée Zellweger should work as consultants for the Witness Protection Program.

"Woody Allen is a real perv" says the women who inappropriately touched her little sister. I guess they were correct with the "takes on to know one" comments.