So, like, tiny humans coming out of you at random times.

That show is scarier than any horror movie. (except Eraserhead which is also about surprise babies and thus also terrifying)

Either way, I'll be avoiding pigs in a blanket and Chex Mix for the foreseeable future.

i want to call it right now, that is the dumbest thing i've ever heard.

I read my spouse Shade Court every week and now he's started correcting people on their improper use of shade. Kara is doing the Lord's work.

i love beauty marks. so jelly.

Oh, god. None of us did.

Now Wendy, stop hating.

josh hutcherson is so presh

He has the photographic versatility of Zoolander. (seriously, he makes the same face in every picture no matter what angle)

I'm really upset with how far this site has fallen. Back in the old days, Jez used to be the type of place that would show naked pictures of Charlie Hunnam's ass, or do exposes on cartoon penises. And now it's all Justin Bieber bulge. For shame, Jez. For shame. We can - and must - do better than this.

"LIBERTÉ, ÉGALITÉ, FRATERNITÉ, MOTHERFUCKERS!"

Well Jessica Lange is the queen. Never forget.

Bill Maher's Islamophobia is so obnoxious because he uses the same logic Fox News does, "I think it, it must be true, here are some charts proving my thoughts, and since everyone is too incredulous at the things coming out of my mouth to formulate a response, I'M RIGHT!"

She didn't touch his d***. She touched his s*** (sock).

Because, why? She's getting in the way of you being united eternally with your one true love?

Making movies Making Songs and FIGHTIN ROUND THE WORLD

I would have sloppy sex with him. I'd get him and a couple of bottles of pinto greeg and make a little Saturday night out of it. He has a nice body. As long as he doesn't talk too much and remind me that he's Justin fucking Bieber, yeah. I guess.

Winter? Wassat?