Seriously! I had little respect for my mom from the get-go, but she lost every shred of respect I had for her when she said that. Makes me mad that I’m stuck related to her. I just can’t get people like her, Trump, or any other vindictive, narcissistic people. Yuck.

Work right in, brother! Respectful opposing viewpoints from non-racist, non-misogynists are welcome here.

He’ll bail long before that. This is a man who has NEVER met a problem he can’t buy off or run away from.

I swear if I hear “he tells it likes it is” one more time I will put an ice pick through my ear. P.S. Had a mother like that, and then a manager, which then brought up all the residual PTSD from my mother. Ugh...

The promise of his concession speech is the only thing getting me through this never-ending shit show of an election season.

No, it will be something along the lines of “well, you know, [fill in the blank] really wasn’t fair to me, and everybody knows that’s true.”

Nah, he’ll just be like “What? I didn’t wanna be president! This was all a joke. I know all the jokes, I have the *best* jokes! See ya, losers!”

Then go back to his giant building with his name on it and cry bitter tears into a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat

Now, who have I heard say really shitty things and then insist it was just a joke?
Oh, that’s right. Abusers.

Sy Sperling told me his own damn self that Trump was a client of Hair Club for Men. At the time Sperling said I couldn’t write about it, and I never have, but hey, statute of limitations and this isn’t a story. That’s a rug, you can bet on it. And what he lacks up top he makes up for in length. Classic insecurity…

I mean - laughter usually runs along side with *tears of rage*, yes?

In that case, HE’S HILARIOUS!

I’m having flashbacks to childhood.

But didn’t he try to run for president in the last presidential election? I AM ALMOST SURE HE DID. Shouldn’t he have STOPPED?

Hey Donald, Cher don’t give a fuck!

We need to update the 3 a.m. ad.

A tin can plated in 24k gold. The classiest tin can that money can buy.

Basically, if you meet an asshole in the morning, they're the asshole. If you encounter assholes all day, you're probably the asshole.

7,000 of them are tickled by the nickname Megyn Smelly. I think that tells all we need to know - we can’t expect aristotle’s logic here.

If everybody in your life is crazy it’s isn’t those people who are crazy.

Trump is just “calling it like he sees it,” a “straight shooter.”

Ah yes, the old “she’s crazy” trope. I bet Trump thinks his relationships with Ivana and Marla also failed because “they are crazy.” It’s always the women who are “crazy,” the common denominator couldn’t possibly be him, much less his misogyny.