I thought this internet appliance would be a total gamechanger!

which would kill their marketshare in about two seconds flat.
Phones aren't phones. They're personal branding devices /content distributors.

BARTLES!

shocking hot take.

Agreed.

we're all just someone else's content.

God forbid you can't see One Direction unimpeded by aloft iPhonery, though.

Implementing any sort of arbitrary block that's entirely out of your control on features you BOUGHT the device for is pretty evil.

Paupry Eebles will work for 40% of her union equivalent's salary.

There's a retro-charm circa 2002 to the proceedings.

He's the best. How did Rigby get all the loser genes?

No problem fellas. I got a Trace Buster Buster 2000.

Just so we're clear on who's really in charge over us!

Don's got a car. and a more anthropomorphic body.

I liked it better when the Vivian Girls did this.

well, he's a noted bostonian, so close enough.

Dennis Leary was enough for me to avoid it.

60% less rack, 40% less sass.

Is this where Eileen finally dumps his ass….

Ever since his Rushmore/Lost in Translation critical apex, he's been playing a minute variation of one same character ever since.