Wallace did it first.

@DangerousLiberal: Exactly. Pancakes that make a "CLANG" sound in the skillet generally aren't max yummy.

@Jaredu: If you're trying to eliminate batteries from your life, but you still have a battery-powered razor, then you're not trying very hard.

Look at that guy, just Blythe-ly walking away from that poor waitress.

"Playoff birth"? Shawn Kemp usually managed to make those happen in the offseason.

Public service announcement:

The crummy teams will get better with one simple solution: relegation. Each offseason, the two worst teams get demoted to AAA. Bring the two best AAA teams up to the majors.

I AM serious. And please don't call me Shirley.

@ireplacemyboneswithbars: That's what she said.

April? Why can't I buy this now? My Flip freezes half the time I turn it on. I need a durable replacement NOW, not 3 months from now.

Give the guy a break. Obviously, his truck doesn't have any cupholders.

Get real, this is Gizmodo. None of us have any interest in what's beyond our computer screens.

Oh come on. Everyone has known Superman was gay since this:

Deadspin: "Bloggers should be taken seriously!! I don't live in Mom's basement anymore!!"

@KWehme09:

@albo: Exactly, because a reputable news organization would FIRE Jayson Blair, and did. #assholefandigest

Aaaaaaand now we see why reputable journalists don't publish just any old "rumor" without making an effort to verify that it's, you know, likely to be true.

I don't see anything suspicious. It looks like the players got confused because both teams were wearing blue jerseys. How do the players know who to defend against? #soccer

"Joakim Noah: Has long hair, which is disobedient to the Word of God."

Apparently Chipper prefers the nightlife of Lake Buena Vista, FL. Epcot bar crawl FTW!