IUD represent

I don’t necessarily think nobody is boning, it’s just that the people boning already live together, thus are probably sexually exclusive and might just not be using condoms?

I’m confused why “Creutzfeld-Jacob”and “Chagas” disease are not OK. Those are named after the scientists who discovered them, not early patients/victims of the disease.

Hold up. You believe them when they say he isn’t being tested? Where have you been the last 3 years?

Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please.

Orange is the new Black

I always pray there’s a norovirus outbreak at CPAC. Norovirus is one helluva fun, wild ride.

Lmao I love this story

I fly usually every week or two. In general people are just rude and inconsiderate. Lately, the worst things I’ve seen in the seats directly in front of me or next to me or behind me are 1) a woman painting several coats of nail polish; 2) a guy putting his bare foot up on the arm seat in front of him (mine - i…

I definitely was The Problem on a flight. I was 21, had been farming in Europe for six months, and came home for a holiday. For the past few weeks on the farm, my scalp had been itchy but I attributed it to sunburn—long hours in the fields, no hat, nothing to think about, right? Idiot.

I was on a Southwest* flight with my mom and we had taken aisle seats across from each other. A mother, let’s call her Chloe, with about a 2 year old child sat down in the window and middle seats next to my mom.

Woman solo-parenting on a fight from Charlotte to London with 3 kids. She was at her wits end already from the look of it, and one kid suddenly started barfing all over himself during takeoff. This led to the two other kids also barfing all over themselves. Lots of smelly awful barf all over the middle row of a…

A friend of mine from high school flew as an unaccompanied minor pretty frequently. These days, unaccompanied minors aren’t seated next to men, but back in the 1980s, anything went. My friend must have been about seven or eight. This guy talks to her the whole flight across the aisle. After the plane lands, the flight…

My little brother apparently overheats quickly, and when he overheats, he gets violently ill.

I once sat next to a filthy man who thumbed through a stack of Asian porn mags for the entire five hours.  Interrupted only by shouting “TOMATO JUICE!” every time a flight attendant passed us. 

“I don't think anybody aught to be able to buy themselves the nomination - TOM"

Don’t forget the BILLIONS we like to appropriate every year for art that depicts nothing but gay stuff and poop Jesuses. Think of all the tanks the military could have if we lefties would do the patriotic thing and give back the mountain of arts funding we get!*

They already went CGI horror, why not go all the way?

I am sorry about your son. Send her a gift of Madagascar hissing cockroaches shipped directly to her desk in a fancy box.

First of all, since the fuck when is an open door cause for 5-0 to be all up in yoiur house, peeping in and shooting from outside like they don’t have any goddamn sense?