As a teacher, I can say with absolute certainty that you just won the internet with this comment.

In college, I gained the freshman 35. I know, I know. I dieted and exercised and lost 20 lbs of it in one semester. When I came home, my dad goes, "In December, you were fat. Now you're only A LITTLE FAT!" He meant this as a compliment.

Moronic parents, I'd like to introduce you to the many students I've taught who have had autism and HAVEN'T BEEN VACCINATED. *ahem*

Patient zero is likely a visitor from another country where they aren't required to vaccinate. Disneyland and Walt Disney World get a TON of international visitors. I used to work in Epcot.

Why not? If I saw a white woman and I loved her hair, I'd tell her. If I saw a black woman and I loved her hair, I'd tell her too. I would hope that wouldn't come across as weird when I just meant it as a, "Whats up, fellow woman, your hair looks awesome today and I noticed."

I've probably spent about $5,000 of my own money on my classroom this year. A LOT of our own money goes into resources. It's insane. I can't even make photocopies without submitting them a) in advance for APPROVAL first b) with my own paper. They don't even supply us with paper. I am definitely a Staples Premier…

Butting in here only to add that some schools STILL use Voyage of the Mimi. I died laughing last year when I was subbing and had to watch it.

You and my mother both. She will admit he looks like a meting wax figure now, but she agrees with you.

Thanks :) I kind of suck at it. We don't have a science teacher in my room, and there's so much emphasis on the ELA and Math state tests/common core curriculum that science gets pushed to the wayside sometimes. Truth be told, I'm kind of learning along with them/from them too! I found a ton of great resources online…

Is it? Cause I can tell you that:
2010 - all four wisdom teeth impacted, had them removed. Vicodin.
2011 - emergency appendectomy. 100% necessary surgery. Percocet.
2012 - sinus surgery/nose job - necessary/not necessary (hey, I keep it real at least!). Tramadol, because despite being in surgery for 5 hours and having…

Don't freak out over that so much...though can you take codeine when pregnant? That is the only thing that startled me, but I'm not a doctor. I will say that my college health services used to give out the codeine cough syrup frequently. As an adult (and a teacher who must work through many various illnesses/upper…

As a Long Island kid, it was practically a high school graduation requirement to know every single word to this song (and all other Billy Joel songs). I kid, I kid, but most people I knew really did love Billy Joel...and most of us did know all of the lyrics. Regardless, this will forever be the best "We Didn't Start…

Oh, Bill. I, too, am a Mac lover who must use Office for Mac <3 (Let's share our pain together, shall we?) I'm also a 5th grade teacher and former Epcot Cast Member (Guest Relations, and I was a Segway Tour Guide) who got my students hooked on the old "Bill Nye the Science Guy" episodes. I play them on my SMARTboard…

I'm a 5th grade teacher, and I introduced my class to Bill Nye this year. THEY FREAKING LOVE HIM and now know the theme song by heart. Clearly his awesomeness spans generations.

Now, those pop parodies in the show (I'm looking at you, cover of TLC's "Waterfalls") did NOT age well. My kids wanted to know why the girls…

You are my spirit animal.

You are my spirit animal.

Since when? I definitely bought them within the past 6 months. Spanx aren't plus sized, they come in every size!

Never cut them off. I'm a total pear shape with a flat stomach and a big booty, and I like them under some dresses. However, I may or may not have, while completely drunk out of my damn mind, peeled them off in the bathroom and shoved them in the metal tampon disposal bucket. Yep. Maybe.

I was always taught that you dress up for the theater. Dressing up, btw, could mean a dress from Target and some nice flats and opaque tights. It doesn't have to be EXPENSIVE, but don't wear a t-shirt and jeans. It's about respect and dressing appropriately for the venue, not about the amount of money you spent on…

That was such a good production. Heather Headley and Adam Pascal <3