I know a woman who hooked up with Gene Simmons at an after-concert party in the late '70s. She still gets hot and bothered just talking about it.

Depends. Are you still glum?

How do I get my cat to clean his butt thoroughly so it doesn't smell like poop when he puts it in my face?

Chastity belt.

Funny story: I have a friend who used to work at an adult toy store. On her second day, a man asked where he could find the DVDA stuff. She very hesitantly said, "Uh, next to the regular DVDs?" Of course, when she told me the story, she had to tell me what DVDA is.

That was my reaction. Why would a straight cis dude who doesn't like dicks even date a trans woman?

I got my name in print! I can die happy.

The A.V. Club

True dedication to his job.

I watch SVU and used to watch L&O original flavor. I'm always amused at how quickly cases go to trial and that people talk about a defendant who's being deprived of his/her right to a speedy trial when it's only been a few months or even weeks since the commission of the crime. Questioning and cross-examination last…

Good point.

We do.

I don't do scary movies. Once you've lived one, there's no need.

No movie needed. I'd just tell her about that time when I was 17 and my parents were out of town and an escaped convict broke into our house and spent about 24 hours mostly in the basement before I figured it out/really accepted that it was happening and when I finally figured it out/really accepted that it was…

Oh god, I had forgotten The Slap and how awful it was. Now I'm mad at you for reminding me.

I now hate Clifford Main as much as I hate Chuck. His commercial sucks, as does the decision to air it in the middle of the night. I hope it nets them zero new clients.

If Mike had killed the Salamanca goons at his house, the police would not have been involved. Their bodies would have just disappeared.

And the end of last week's episode was genius, with his facial expression and hand movements after Hector left the diner. You could just feel him thinking, "Oh fuck, what have I gotten myself into?"

No problem. S&C is a huge firm, and they presumably have tons of clients and cases where Kim's experience would be a plus. They probably have a number of partners and many associates who aren't involved in the Sandpiper case.

I hated Howard asking Kim, "You haven't unpacked yet?", then closing her office door as if it's unfit to be seen by the world.