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A good friend responded with slack-jawed incredulity recently when I explained that I don't do Facebook or email on my phone, and that I check both only once a day.

Could we count Elizabeth and Philip Jennings?

I initially misread that as "Alby Rides Lesbian Dalmatians." I think that sounds like fun.

Isn't it the punchline to, like, 400 very dirty jokes, each more disgusting than the last?

I always really liked the ones that said, "If you send this to everyone in your address book, Microsoft will send you a million dollars!" (Before people figured out email doesn't work that way.) But my favorites were the opposite: "For each person in your address book that you DON'T send this to, God will slaughter a…

I just posted this on Facebook, because I am disgusted.

I dated one of those guys who looked like he was wearing a sweater when he was shirtless. I was young and naive, and I didn't really notice that his beard stubble continued down past the top of his shirt. I try not to be judge-y, but man, that was gross.

It's like those things Mad Magazine used to do where the complimentary parts would be in really big letters and the bad parts would be almost microscopically small.

I haven't been on Facebook in 12 hours. I'm afraid to go back.

Being angry about one thing does not preclude being angry about other things. Most of us have the capacity to be angry about multiple things all at the same time.

This is the very first comment on Breitbart's main story on Paris: "IT'S TIME TO KILL ALL MUSLIMS NO MATTER IF THEY ARE AN EXTREMIST OR NOT WHEN YOU SEE THEM"

If it helps, Facebook has activated Safety Check. Zuckerberg posted info on his page.

Sadly, it can be two things.

Colbert knocked it out of the park. The entire show was recorded before they knew about the events in Paris, so there was no mention of it until the end. Then Colbert gave a very brief and heartfelt speech articulating what most of us are probably feeling, and they cut to black before any applause could be heard. Very…

This kind of shit spam is usually just annoying. In this context, it's offensive.

What a wonderful counterpoint to today's horror.

I feel that way about the Nickel Mines school shooting. All school shootings are horrifying, of course. But a "regular" school shooting is like putting your high school basketball team up against the NBA All Stars: the kids are going to get their asses handed to them, but at least they know the rules of the game. A…

Here's my problem: I'm at my limit, and I don't want to read/hear/see any more about Paris this evening. But I'm so sad, none of my usual go-to strategies are working.

Je suis the AVClub!