Probably. I would totally do that too if I were Taylor Swift! The glam squad could just move in and keep me beautiful all the time!

But I like that she posted a bare face. It's refreshing (not for her, in general).

The little fuckers are going to corrupt your kids, too!

No reason you can't nap if your elf is on babysitting duty.

Nah. Here’s the breakdown:

Well, I don’t know anything about this elf thing, but I love that the little girl thought to call the police when she (thought she) was in trouble and I love that the cops checked up on her just in case something really was wrong.

Someone needs to tell that fucking elf that snitches get stitches and end up in ditches.

Rita Ora? That must be what this Christopher Martin fellow named his jeep.

Which I’m sure is someone’s fetish.

Anna Kendrick is so right. I changed my voicemail message to: “text me, dummy. don’t you even know how to phone, dummy?”

Right on Miss Badu. The smartest lady in hip hop.

They are very cute indeed. But why are they all dressed like goth babies? It’s the holiday season. Shouldn’t they be dressed in red and green? You don’t need to wear black because it is slimming when you are three.

I just want you to know that I am going to make it my goal to insert the expression “make hay while the sun shines” more often in daily conversation.

Don’t lie. You weren’t lifting weights. You were walking on the treadmill. And you tripped.