Without killing anyone, how do I do my job terribly enough that people will pay me 50,000 to leave?

Definitely shit on Louies part. In his prime he was as funny a stand up I’d seen, I mean laugh out loud til your crying funny. Chapelle and Carlin are right there for me too. Anyway I turned on Netflix tonight (It’s 230am here in Dubai) and started to watch Louies newest stand up. Absolutely cringeworthy. The audience…

I’ll buy Indifferent Tank Top because it’s cute, dammit, not because I’d wanna give a guy a handy while wearing it.

Blow hard enough and you’ll hover.

Run. fast.

From my experience, she is probably trying to find where exactly the penis is at. It’s a good first step before the crying.

To most Americans, sushi is either the raw fish, or the raw fish on rice. They don’t know that sushi is rice marinated in vinegar.

My personal favorite from my dating history (and for the record, I never cheated nor ever gave anyone any reason to think I was going to cheat.)

SERIOUSLY. I understand men like their boners and their upvotes, but FFS, do something useful with your skills. *Tableflip*

Except that’s the thing I don’t understand. Unless I missed something, double jeopardy has not attached because the grand jury decided not to indict him. This isn’t like the OJ civil case where he had already been acquitted and they could force straight answers out of him in deposition.

Like you said, you’re not American.

Hello. I’m not American. Can someone tell me why America thought it was a good idea to make a functionally illiterate man with severe personality disorders the President of the United States of America?

When I was 7 years old I wrote something kind of shitty in a note and got caught, the first thing my parents said was ‘NEVER put shit like that in writing’.

February 7, 2017. The day public education died.

This, however is Normal:

He’s trying to make it look like he’s so busy and presidential.

What do we do though? I’ve been protesting, signing petitions, donating, calling my representatives, trying to get more involved in local politics, etc., but the frustrating thing is that it seems like no one can stop him. It also feels like we have no true leadership. Honestly I wish Obama would come back into the…

I submit that it’s a bad idea to look down on people because you think they did something you dislike and your only evidence is their race, gender, and home state.

Cool. Then what?

Please, let's not call this "rape." I'm sure that birth can sometimes be traumatic, but calling it "rape" does a real disservice to survivors.